A Boot to Reboots

So, I guess there's a new game in Hollywood. You thought you were getting sick of Hollywood remakes of foreign film? Live-action adaptations of comics & videogames? Film versions of television shows? Well, it seems they have noticed and the operative word the studios are bouncing around these days is "Reboot."

Now, it's not enough to remake something. In their infinite and insatiable grab for your money (which all of us have less of these days), the studios are now double dipping. They are actually calling the proverbial "do-over" on certain franchises which either didn't meet their sales goals or are putting a "new spin" on an older franchise. For the latter, you may wonder what's the difference between calling it a "reboot" and a "remake?" Technically, there is none--but hey, if they can put it under a new umbrella, why not? They know you're getting tired of remakes? So, why not a "reboot!" It's like a thief who admits, "You know, I came close to robbing you. Next time, I just have to find another way into your house." What are some of the projects heading for a reboot? Here are just a sampling:

Fantastic 4
Fox, jealous of the success WB and Paramount are having with its comic book franchises, has decided that they will try again with the franchises to which they own the license, starting with the Fantastic Four. However, if you read the press release, you will see this little blurb:

"The site adds that Fox wants to reboot the series in a tone described as 'less bubble gum' and more in the vein of those two previous examples [Iron Man and Dark Knight]."

I beg your pardon? It's the so-called bubblegum nature of the comic that makes the Fantastic Four...the Fantastic Four. Maybe if you developed a better script with people who understand how to handle the adventure with a light touch, you would actually have something. Trying to go dark with these characters is not the way to go.

Nightmare on Elm Street
An absolute classic. Quite an original for it's time and still quite good upon viewing today. How do you figure they will try to improve on the original? More gore? Grittier cinematography? Freddy will have two gloves instead of one? You can read more about it here.

Predator
Even with Robert Rodriguez attached, I just have to shake my head at this one. Various attempts to capitalize on this franchise have all fallen flat. As par for the course, instead of offering something new, all they are offering is just more Predators according to the following quote from this article:

"In the reboot a team of commandoes face down a mysterious race of vicious monsters."

Sounds like the classic mistake for a sequel; offer the audience only more of the same, instead of better.

Hellraiser
Another classic horror film which I am sure will only offer more gore rather than anything substantially better than what the original brought to the table. Read about it here.

Tomb Raider
You knew this was coming. Another Fox franchise that they ran into the ground, developed only to take advantage of the game's popularity which, even with a reboot in the game franchise, seems to have run its course. Anyway, they seemed to have found a new Lara since Angelina Jolie's peg rate is probably more than Fox is willing to pay according to Ain't It Cool News.

Robocop
Like the Predator reboot mentioned above, this one has a talented director in Alex Proyas attached to it. And just like I said before, the only thing I can see them improving upon is the effects. Truly unnecessary. Read more here.

Conan
There were rumors of John Milius' script for the sequel hinted at the end of the first film and by 2002, it seemed the project was all but lost according to this article on Ain't It Cool News. Read Moriarty's link to his script review and you will find that a good movie was there on paper. Apparently, instead of following up on this, WB has decided on a "re-do" instead since Arnold is now involved in, you know, runnig the 4th largest economy in the world. The success of the LOTR Trilogy is certainly tempting a lot of studios to develop a fantasy franchise, but here's another case where if you want to do the character of Conan right, you had best treat it with the same veracity the title character deserves or else, don't bother at all.

One of the reasons this blog was started was to also talk about all the films that people aren't talking about; there's plenty of them out there, and more importantly, they're based on original material. Instead of wasting all this money trying to squeeze successful franchises dry or resurrect ones that didn't do well in the first place (there's a reason for that folks), they could be developing fresh new material by some very talented people. You know guys, save yourself some money; restore some the classic films you want to "reboot" with new sound and cleaned up picture, sell it on DVD/Blu-ray or have a short run in the theaters and introduce them to a new audience who will then come to appreciate today's films.
Sadly, however, the state of the industry has become too incestuous to warrant or even breed that type of thinking. It's all about building a marketable package that plays across a wide audience spectrum. I wrote those words intentionally, because that's how those people talk. Notice, there's no hint of anything remotely resembling words like "entertaining," "original," "creative," etc. They speak as cold and calculating as some Lehman Brothers banker and well, you know how that story goes....